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Randi Vasquez
@RandiVasquez
Happy first birthday, Stella. pic.twitter.com/xtPlnUSBo5
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Randi Vasquez
@RandiVasquez
Just found this knife buried in my couch so guess who will be sleeping with the lights on tonight. pic.twitter.com/f6ZZDSbqFB
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Randi Vasquez
@RandiVasquez
Not even 10:30 am and I've already seen someone spewing vomit less than a foot away from me and I accidentally microwaved my iphone.
Randi Vasquez
@RandiVasquez
TBT to when @RandiVasquez bought a beta fish from Walmart and it died within 24 hours #RIPStanley pic.twitter.com/uAPikyhaMK
Retweet of status by @rachdavis1991
Randi Vasquez
@RandiVasquez
When is the best time of the day to give someone bad news?
Randi Vasquez
@RandiVasquez
My boss just told @Ashdresto that she used to work for the Swiss & she thought she was talking about the SwissMiss hot chocolate company.
Randi Vasquez
@RandiVasquez
The devil just tried to tempt me to buy Girl Scout cookies but the Lord was on my side because they only take cash and I only have a card.
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Randi Vasquez
@RandiVasquez
On Sunday I told myself I was going to be on time for work every day this week.
So far, two out of two days I've been late.
So far, two out of two days I've been late.
Randi Vasquez
@RandiVasquez
Never experiment with your makeup at 6:30 AM because now I'm stuck at work all day and I'm wearing neon pink eyeshadow.
Randi Vasquez
@RandiVasquez
My parents celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary today with gas station hot dogs. pic.twitter.com/Yu3AtG00WE
Randi Vasquez
@RandiVasquez
No one actually wants to be your friend anymore. People only ask you "how you're doing?!" so they can hit you with their pyramid scheme.
...but wait! There's more!
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fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
