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Dave Cactus
@dave_cactus
My new short story is The Princess and the Pee. It's about a princess who goes to the public pool after me and SUPPOSEDLY can tell.
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Dave Cactus
@dave_cactus
BLT.
The Sandwich That's All Toppings
The Sandwich That's All Toppings
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Dave Cactus
@dave_cactus
Whatβs my Punxsutawney SLUTS 𦫠it's GroundHOg Day and you know what that means it's time to slurp down sβ¦ twitter.com/i/web/status/1β¦
Retweet of status by @daphnedanne
Dave Cactus
@dave_cactus
Look at you go!
pic.twitter.com/YPARGy0cAv
pic.twitter.com/YPARGy0cAv
Dave Cactus
@dave_cactus
me: vlad where are my horses ?
vlad the impaler:
me: you fucking didn't
vlad the impaler:
me:
vlad the impaler:
me: you fucking didn't
vlad the impaler:
me:
Retweet of status by @malt_skull
Dave Cactus
@dave_cactus
@nyquills "current"
Dave Cactus
@dave_cactus
Thirst trap at 30k?
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Dave Cactus
@dave_cactus
Me applying eggplant scented all natural moisturizer:
Dave Cactus
@dave_cactus
Instagram selfie from the gym:
Dave Cactus
@dave_cactus
Good Morning! pic.twitter.com/hqqvYGbZi7
Retweet of status by @sarawrencomedy
Dave Cactus
@dave_cactus
Copy and paste but change the pilot...
_________________
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βββ©βββ©βββ¦ twitter.com/i/web/status/1β¦
_________________
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βββ©βββ©βββ¦ twitter.com/i/web/status/1β¦
...but wait! There's more!
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fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
