1.
mike
@PhilipJFried
Good morning to everyone except guys who sit to pee ๐ค
Retweet of status by @duchess_banana
2.
mike (parody (unlessโฆ?))
@PhilipJFried
I got tattoos to distract everyone from the fact that Iโm ugly
Retweet of status by @thatonemomkj
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mike
@PhilipJFried
when you were flirting for fun but now youโre waiting for their notification
Retweet of status by @Maxthepapi
mike
@PhilipJFried
ex asshat: I miss you
me: yeah fucker, I'd miss me too
me: yeah fucker, I'd miss me too
Retweet of status by @CynfullySweetXO
mike
@PhilipJFried
Cop: put the gun down!
Me: you're ugly and stupid, gun
Gun:
Cop: good job
Me: you're ugly and stupid, gun
Gun:
Cop: good job
mike
@PhilipJFried
Guys in their 40s taking selfies... pic.twitter.com/wmbk0Seht7
Retweet of status by @ASoftstar
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mike โ๏ธ
@PhilipJFried
Ohโฆyouโre still drinking vodka red bulls? Iโve moved on to iced coffee red bulls.
Retweet of status by @cayoticneutral
mike โ๏ธ
@PhilipJFried
[bedroom]
Me:
Her:
Me:
Her:
Me: ummm...brr?
Her: it's 80ยฐ dude.
Me:
Her: just go
Me:
Her:
Me:
Her:
Me: ummm...brr?
Her: it's 80ยฐ dude.
Me:
Her: just go
mike
@PhilipJFried
This five year old boy delivering flowers and a stuffed animal to a girl in his class for Valentines Dayโฆ Yโall pic.twitter.com/T7TkOa6Spw
Retweet of status by @travisakers
mike
@PhilipJFried
I just tossed and turned for seven hours
...but wait! There's more!
1.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
