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jess
@_mellamojess
I am such a happy drunk
Retweet of status by @_CexVexce
79.
jess
@_mellamojess
I was sitting down and lulu's mom saw my thong and now she's thinks I'm a devil child prostitute lol
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jess
@_mellamojess
Customer bitching to my cashier *
Me: yes excuse me did you have a question?
Customer: I wasn't talking to you .
Me : well fuck you too.
Me: yes excuse me did you have a question?
Customer: I wasn't talking to you .
Me : well fuck you too.
jess
@_mellamojess
@_mellamojess SHE IS NOT KIDDING GUYS. i cant even mention a guys name without this bitch asking for his social to run a background check
Retweet of status by @ohhlulu27
jess
@_mellamojess
Be the company that makes others feel refreshed
Retweet of status by @AlyssaFlower1
jess
@_mellamojess
I highkey just wanna wear a cute dress, have my man drive to a nice ass view, smoke a blunt, then fuck in the car.
Retweet of status by @uwrvryhgh
jess
@_mellamojess
WHY DOES IT ALWAYS LOOK LIKE ME AND NAT ARE KISSING!?!? p.s. bet $10 Jess didnt even know what song was playingβ¦ twitter.com/i/web/status/8β¦
Retweet of status by @ohhlulu27
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jess
@_mellamojess
Jess told me to be careful today and not txt & drive... but she told me this while she was TXTING AND DRIVING
Retweet of status by @ohhlulu27
jess
@_mellamojess
Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations
jess
@_mellamojess
I hate when people try to act so white and creidos y tienen el pinche nopal en la frente
jess
@_mellamojess
When a customer asks to speak to the manager but you are the manager they thought ...
...but wait! There's more!
78.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
