1.
lp black
@resmarted
i wanna tell u what my name stands for about as much as i wanna hear the deep complicated backstory of every single one of your tattoos
2.
lp black
@resmarted
was just compared to robin williams and hunter s thompson in the same breath so I guess I have to marry this person now
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
lp black
@resmarted
when do you think spaghetti stains will be in style? I have an entire wardrobe just waiting to become fashionable.
lp black
@resmarted
@ThatFakeGuyDan most of my dude friends also seem to which scares me
lp black
@resmarted
who needs coffee when you wake up to this pic.twitter.com/RNm5ecj9uJ
lp black
@resmarted
the day I seek anyone's approval I want you to euthanize me on site
lp black
@resmarted
the age old debate on samantha vs jeannie is just one example of how powerful bad bitches can never catch a break
8.
9.
10.
11.
lp black
@resmarted
I mean... C'mon! Best gift ever ! Thanks @mindykaling for my #WreathWitherspoon #Oscar edition. pic.twitter.com/gmFX0ADqnw
Retweet of status by @RWitherspoon
lp black
@resmarted
I got a 6pk of @RousesMarkets glazed donuts and tried to share them but when that didn't work I decided that diabetes is worth the risk.
LP
@resmarted
I just set myself up for a slew of dumb blowjob jokes goodnight moon
LP
@resmarted
@calamityvaughn we will meet again during empty nest syndrome and write thru the wee hours of the morning
...but wait! There's more!
1.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
