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Santa Claus, CEO
@SantaInc
@GOPChairwoman You changed your name for a guy you’re not even married to.
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Santa Claus, CEO
@SantaInc
@gregkellyusa @BarackObama I think the main ”factor” is that Lee Harvey Oswald had been dead for almost 20 year… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
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Santa Claus, CEO
@SantaInc
@carobini [this guy’s logic]
Wife: “Hey I got a promotion!”
Husband: “Ow, my penis.”
Wife: “Hey I got a promotion!”
Husband: “Ow, my penis.”
Santa Claus, CEO
@SantaInc
@aubrey_huff Ironic that a pinch hitter doesn’t want to be a “backup plan”
Santa Claus, CEO
@SantaInc
Trump: “No Russian collusion!”
Senate Intelligence Report: Trump Manafort Kilimnik Russia. Simple.
Senate Intelligence Report: Trump Manafort Kilimnik Russia. Simple.
Santa Claus, CEO
@SantaInc
Ivanka in a grocery store?
C’mon.
Ivanka in the “Ethnic Foods” aisle?
Double c’mon.
Ivanka using a can opener?
Triple c’mon.
C’mon.
Ivanka in the “Ethnic Foods” aisle?
Double c’mon.
Ivanka using a can opener?
Triple c’mon.
Santa Claus, CEO
@SantaInc
@realDonaldTrump Invoke “A” means National Aeronautics and Space Administration!
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Santa Claus, CEO
@SantaInc
That feeling of relief when you get to your table at the wedding reception and you know people there:
#LevSpeaks pic.twitter.com/U5pTuYenE4
#LevSpeaks pic.twitter.com/U5pTuYenE4
Santa Claus, CEO
@SantaInc
Not knowing if we’re at war with Iran yet is a quantum state that physicists refer to as a Schrödinger’s Catastrophe.
Santa Claus, CEO
@SantaInc
So. Many. Triggered. Republicans.
Santa Claus, CEO
@SantaInc
John Barron can’t be a baron either.
...but wait! There's more!
1.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
