34.
Slippery Secret
@SlipperySecret
Hot guy just called me ma'am, licked his lips and then winked.
Now I can't decide if I'm offended, flattered or turned on?!?
Now I can't decide if I'm offended, flattered or turned on?!?
Retweet of status by @WornOutMommy
35.
Slippery Secret
@SlipperySecret
Revealed that he hated coffee, even the smell of it...
*Gets ass kicked out of Group DM...
*Returns to normal sleeping pattern...
*Gets ass kicked out of Group DM...
*Returns to normal sleeping pattern...
Retweet of status by @Samiam556
36.
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Slippery Secret
@SlipperySecret
Oh grand! As if it wasn't convenient enough for morons to DM us nonstop... let's add a DM button next to the RT button
Slippery Secret
@SlipperySecret
When someone sucks so bad at replying to your texts that you actually think your phone is broken.
Retweet of status by @LilSuzieV
Slippery Secret
@SlipperySecret
Sunday @twitter is so peaceful because
A) There are less people here
Or
B) The trolls are out of the basement spending the day w/Mom
A) There are less people here
Or
B) The trolls are out of the basement spending the day w/Mom
Retweet of status by @Mr_Friend_Zone
Slippery Secret
@SlipperySecret
Officer: I'm not sure your hood ornament is in code
Me: Really? I used Liquid Nails
*glued down falcon violently thrashes about*
Me: Really? I used Liquid Nails
*glued down falcon violently thrashes about*
Retweet of status by @girl_a_whirl
Slippery Secret
@SlipperySecret
Sorry kid, I have tweets that are older than you. Written on the knees of my Ditto jeans ๏ธ
Retweet of status by @IamEveryDayPpl
41.
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Slippery Secret
@SlipperySecret
Don't you hate when you find a spider crawling across the visor and then you have to sell your car?
Retweet of status by @WornOutMommy
Slippery Secret
@SlipperySecret
2K push +Solo yolo early #FF
Tell all your friends to follow the glittery pantaloons @ninjaangel44 tweetheart is JD approved
Tell all your friends to follow the glittery pantaloons @ninjaangel44 tweetheart is JD approved
Retweet of status by @Jedi_Daddy
Slippery Secret
@SlipperySecret
The T-rex is incapable of pulling down his pants. So we have the dry hump method, which is why dinosaurs went extinct.
Retweet of status by @shawn_spree
Slippery Secret
@SlipperySecret
We fav a tweet sometimes to say hello to the tweeter. So why can't the hearts, be a little hand instead.
Retweet of status by @cuppajosh
...but wait! There's more!
34.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
