23.
Myrna Tellingheusen
@PearlsFromMyrna
Mop
Bucket
Brush
Bleach, and
Disinfecting Wipes
I didn’t invent “clean”—
but I know it when I see it.
Bucket
Brush
Bleach, and
Disinfecting Wipes
I didn’t invent “clean”—
but I know it when I see it.
24.
Myrna Tellingheusen
@PearlsFromMyrna
Dear Stephanie,
Of course these “opinions are my own.”
It should be clear by now I’m not here as just another pretty face.
MT
Of course these “opinions are my own.”
It should be clear by now I’m not here as just another pretty face.
MT
25.
26.
27.
28.
29.
Myrna Tellingheusen
@PearlsFromMyrna
Dear Young Women,
Never date a man who will not submit to a criminal background check.
Also, occasional polygraphs.
MT
Never date a man who will not submit to a criminal background check.
Also, occasional polygraphs.
MT
Myrna Tellingheusen
@PearlsFromMyrna
I’ve been a mall walker since before you were born.
I INVENTED athleisure wear.
Velour#
Tracksuit#
#
I INVENTED athleisure wear.
Velour#
Tracksuit#
#
Myrna Tellingheusen
@PearlsFromMyrna
You had me at placket! pic.twitter.com/dxoajcv7wJ
Myrna Tellingheusen
@PearlsFromMyrna
I invented the Firm Smile.
Myrna Tellingheusen
@PearlsFromMyrna
Dear Pastor Carmichael,
Unlike two weeks ago, this morning I had no trouble finding a church parking spot.
Fascinating#
Unlike two weeks ago, this morning I had no trouble finding a church parking spot.
Fascinating#
30.
31.
32.
33.
Myrna Tellingheusen
@PearlsFromMyrna
I ADORE filling out forms!
Myrna Tellingheusen
@PearlsFromMyrna
Dear Television People,
What the world needs is a program titled “Retired Sheldon.”
What the world needs is a program titled “Retired Sheldon.”
Myrna Tellingheusen
@PearlsFromMyrna
The best way to channel road rage is to drive home and mash raw potatoes with a pickle fork.
Myrna Tellingheusen
@PearlsFromMyrna
Dear Pastor Carmichael,
During your homily today I diagnosed four cases of sleep apnea.
During your homily today I diagnosed four cases of sleep apnea.
...but wait! There's more!
23.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
