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sarah schauer π¦
@SJSchauer
my cat and I locking eyes on the 10 mg of Adderall I dropped on my bed
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sarah schauer π¦
@SJSchauer
life doesnβt begin at conception, it begins at 40 pic.twitter.com/CYppFe2zSa
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sarah schauer π¦
@SJSchauer
CONGRATS ON 1 MILLION @CaucasianJames
sarah schauer π¦
@SJSchauer
@SJSchauer Iβm sorry for the amount of crying youβre about to do
Retweet of status by @swamp_boyz
sarah schauer π¦
@SJSchauer
Iβm a white woman who likes pizza, what kooky pyramid scheme will I invest $500 in today.
sarah schauer π¦
@SJSchauer
my favorite sex position? both.
sarah schauer π¦
@SJSchauer
Quirky girl: omg Iβm like so tiny, when I sit on a barstool my feet donβt touch the floor.
Me, lumbering: sometβ¦ twitter.com/i/web/status/1β¦
Me, lumbering: sometβ¦ twitter.com/i/web/status/1β¦
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sarah shower
@SJSchauer
@KylePlantEmoji Babe. Weβre not technically married yet so thatβs on you how you file your taxes
sarah shower
@SJSchauer
Gaining weight isnβt the end of your life. pic.twitter.com/UL57EkSg3Y
Sarah Schauer
@SJSchauer
Didnβt tweet today so here I go. I havenβt smoked a cigarette in 2000 hours, which is 585 cigarettes not smoked.
Sarah Schauer
@SJSchauer
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, it's your Second Amendment right.
...but wait! There's more!
1.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
