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af🌹bradstone
@afbradstone
Never thank a politician
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af🌹bradstone
@afbradstone
Love when the pilaf box is like, "1/2 tsp butter (optional)". Bicth this whole side dish scenario optional fcuk u im having Zatarain's
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af🌹bradstone
@afbradstone
Spanish Maquis loosened the top of my salt shaker, thus hypersalinating my Swanson's Hungry Man dinner, hastening my death from cardiova
af🌹bradstone
@afbradstone
tfw Trish and Ainsley see me rounding the corner returning from the dealership in our brand new Kia Sorento pic.twitter.com/NZGmpANRyW
af🌹bradstone
@afbradstone
I anarcho-syndicalism but I also the brawny heft of my Chase Sapphire Reserve card. Is there a theory of political economy for me?
af🌹bradstone
@afbradstone
BLACK PHILLIP: Wouldst thou like to live deliciously
ME: [drizzling all 3 syrups on my Perkins short stack] Phil im way ahead of ya buddy
ME: [drizzling all 3 syrups on my Perkins short stack] Phil im way ahead of ya buddy
af🌹bradstone
@afbradstone
No decent B&B advertises brioche french toast. You're a B&B, it'd better fucking be brioche
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af🌹bradstone
@afbradstone
Babylon by David Gray was playing as I performed my Neti Pot and the chorus kicked in just as I finally dislodged that last Craisin
af🌹bradstone
@afbradstone
To spice things up in the boudoir, my wife & I sometimes roleplay that we prefer Pendaflex manila folders (we're a loyal Smead household)
af🌹bradstone
@afbradstone
My sturdy Bonobos Bedford slacks push my #workfarts up through the collar of my Bonobos Jetsetter dress shirt, like mama kissing my neck
afbradstone
@afbradstone
That Susan Sontag documentary is on Netflix now but I'd suggest waiting til it's back in theaters with Pepsi IMAX RealD 3D
...but wait! There's more!
1.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
