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Bachelor_in_paradise
@midlifecrisisfl
If you're happy and unmarried, clap your hands!
Retweet of status by @Mom_Overboard
2.
Bachelor_in_paradise
@midlifecrisisfl
β11 Signs Youβre Having a Mid-Life Crisisβ
I got 100%!!
I got 100%!!
Retweet of status by @MomofTeen
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Bachelor_in_paradise
@midlifecrisisfl
Let me be perfectly clear to you hotties in your sexy yoga pants. I am mentally mind fucking you every time you walk past me.
Bachelor_in_paradise
@midlifecrisisfl
Tinder messaging one liners: "So, want to come over and play with my fidget spinner?"
Bachelor_in_paradise
@midlifecrisisfl
I am boycotting Facebook based solely on the fact that it has no "" button, which is the face I find myself making when I read posts there.
Retweet of status by @ellopuppet
Bachelor_in_paradise
@midlifecrisisfl
Benefits of Divorce: Hump Day matters again!
Bachelor_in_paradise
@midlifecrisisfl
@AmnesiaRose that sounds like a marriage proposal to me.
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Bachelor_in_paradise
@midlifecrisisfl
19 year old in with the flu
Me: Name and date of birth
Patient: my name is daddy
I fucking quit.
Me: Name and date of birth
Patient: my name is daddy
I fucking quit.
Retweet of status by @Disfordilaudid
Bachelor_in_paradise
@midlifecrisisfl
I'm "Have no fear, Underdog is here" years old. (Yep...I'm pretty ancient )
Bachelor_in_paradise
@midlifecrisisfl
So I guess I'm the only one who screams out YAHTZEE while orgasming during sex.
Bachelor_in_paradise
@midlifecrisisfl
I'm not sure what set off the machine but the pat down I just got from TSA guy at the airport would mean we are married in several cultures
Retweet of status by @Mr_Friend_Zone
...but wait! There's more!
1.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
