100.
WhatserName
@IamEveryDayPpl
<at the swap meet>
Ma'am... can I interest you in a back massage?
Me: No thank you.
Him: (mumbles) how bout the front?
Me: How much?
Ma'am... can I interest you in a back massage?
Me: No thank you.
Him: (mumbles) how bout the front?
Me: How much?
101.
WhatserName
@IamEveryDayPpl
It's a "stay away from me but not so far that I can't yell at you if I want to" morning
102.
103.
104.
105.
106.
WhatserName
@IamEveryDayPpl
Happy 4th of July!
Be sure to thank a soldier today.
And a fireman for putting your house out after your failed fireworks show
Cheers!
Be sure to thank a soldier today.
And a fireman for putting your house out after your failed fireworks show
Cheers!
WhatserName
@IamEveryDayPpl
I'm sorry that when everyone raised their hands at church I also assumed the position...
Old habits & all
Old habits & all
WhatserName
@IamEveryDayPpl
WhatserName
@IamEveryDayPpl
I'm sorry I stared at your nipples, Phil, and commented on how well our church's air conditioning works when it wants to
WhatserName
@IamEveryDayPpl
I love bees
and ants
and spiders
The rest of the bugs and insects can just go to hell.
and ants
and spiders
The rest of the bugs and insects can just go to hell.
Retweet of status by @MomOfTeen
107.
108.
109.
110.
WhatserName
@IamEveryDayPpl
Not to brag but I could twiticide and come back as a turnip and none would be the wiser
WhatserName
@IamEveryDayPpl
The 7 year olds in my car are all "we want to hear Justin Bieber" and Im all "not today dicks" (in my head) and "Siri play Bieber" out loud
WhatserName
@IamEveryDayPpl
There are monsters in this world who just gobble it up rather than taking the time to carefully peel their string cheese
WhatserName
@IamEveryDayPpl
Twitter Membership Application for Females
1) Do u like to tell people how much u like wine?
Yes
No
Your application has been approved
1) Do u like to tell people how much u like wine?
Yes
No
Your application has been approved
Retweet of status by @T_Bonezzz_
...but wait! There's more!
100.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
