12.
Ted Travelstead
@trumpetcake
R2-D2 is also a SodaStream but no one talks much about it.
13.
Ted Travelstead
@trumpetcake
Biggest regret of 2019 was not explaining to the genie what a “human beat box” was before wishing to be one.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
Ted Travelstead
@trumpetcake
Glue a jar of pickles shut and roll it into the gym if you want to have the free weights to yourself for an hour.
Ted Travelstead
@trumpetcake
If you’re a caregiver working today (home health aid, ER personnel, etc.) I’m thankful for you.
Ted Travelstead
@trumpetcake
Not sure why everyone gets so crabby when they find out my hash brownies are made with corned-beef hash.
Ted Travelstead
@trumpetcake
What is this:
Ted Travelstead
@trumpetcake
I always thought it was “Murphy’s LOG,” which is why I would carry an ax everywhere.
19.
20.
21.
22.
Ted Travelstead
@trumpetcake
I can never seem to eat a whole pine cone in one sitting.
Ted Travelstead
@trumpetcake
everyone should have one friend they can send a picture of a funny turd to
Ted Travelstead
@trumpetcake
Wore my bread bowl as a hat and was mobbed by sparrows. Should have heeded the caution signs at Panera.
Ted Travelstead
@trumpetcake
Received one forgiveness demerit from my guru Braniel for quietly singing to myself while making toilet.
...but wait! There's more!
12.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
